Ode to Green Tea

(DISCLAIMER: this is in no way a poem, as suggested by the title. It is, however, an expressive tribute exalting my deep feelings and emotions towards green tea, as suggested by the title.)

Before I begin, let me make a few things clear:

No, I am not writing this out of boredom, and no, I am not being paid by any green tea companies.

And no, I am definitely not not drinking green tea right now. (That's right - a double negative. Dare to read on?)

The story begins two months ago when I was at a coffee shop working on my nerdy endeavors...

Before sitting at one of the vacant tables, I ask the barista, "What's good?" I was sick of my usual latte and wanted to venture out and try new things. This self-proclaimed coffee connoisseur went off on a tangent about special cocoa beans they were lucky to have because they were the highest bidders.

He continued talking for an hour. Or maybe it was a minute. I don't know, I zoned out - that is until my selective hearing feeders detected two magical words: green, and tea.

These words immediately shot to the feel-good receptors in my brain, (the part of the brain which also ignites when you take drugs such as ecstasy) which when I knew I had to have some of this stuff. (To clarify, when I say stuff I am referring to green tea.)

I immediately snapped out of my coma and blurted, "I'll have a green tea."

That schmuck barista repeated, "green tea?" in his pretentious, la-di-fucking-da tone. I didn't even bother responding, my mind was somewhere else. My mind was in a state of zen, and I kept repeating my mantra: "green tea I must have."

I will never forget that first sip. It burnt my tongue and food tasted funny for the rest of the week. But I didn't care, all that mattered was my green tea and I. That beautiful taste of green cleansing my mouth, flowing down my throat, and spilling into my stomach.

Twenty minutes, and twenty dollars later, I was a different woman. Older? By definition, yes. Happier? FUCK YEA. Wired? Out of mind, like you wouldn't believe!

When I look back at that day, I feel relieved. Relieved to have experience such a life changing moment. In some ways I feel as though every task I do, every move I make is richer, deeper in meaning. Not a day goes by, where I don't drink at least three cups of tea.

Some may drink tea and think nothing of it. Some may drink tea and think, "I hope my throat ache goes away." But some, and I hope all of you green tea drinkers will reach this level of self attainment one day, drink tea and think, "!dkfjkf93401!3940ka--039d." The latter, my dear friends, is the essence of green tea.